The fact that I am writing a post with this title is still somewhat amazing to me. And while it has been a really long time since I've posted, I've had this topic on my mind for so long and I finally needed to get pen to paper, so to speak.
First things first, a little catch-up since my post nearly 3 years ago (here: http://twinlittlemonkeys.blogspot.com/2014/01/which-of-these-things-is-not-like-other.html)
Right toward the end of 1st grade, a whole lot of things happened really fast, including Baby A's Gen Ed teacher looping to 2nd grade, Baby B making huge academic and language strides with a lot of one on one aide support (but no GenEd kids acknowledging him at his school's field day) and Baby B's SpEd teacher calling me with these shocking words "I think he is ready for inclusion with resource support". After hyperventilating, talking to all the people who could guide and support our decision, and a lot of prayerful consideration, we decided to bring Baby B to our 'home school', joining his twin brother's GenEd 2nd grade.
Our family goal for him was simple - make a friend who would greet him by name in public. I felt that while academics would be tough for him, we could make that up with work at home, tutoring if needed, extra support. But he really needed to make some friends that we would see at the sports park, maybe (could I hope!?) even join on a team, notice out in the community. As an aside, he blew our academic apathy out of the water. By the end of 2nd grade, he had jumped about 2 whole grade levels in reading, was doing double, and sometimes triple digit addition, and some double digit subtraction. I credit a huge amount of this to his teacher and his classroom aide, but also can't discount the 'peer pressure' factor. Once he crumpled his 'easy' math page and threw it at the aide saying "this is too easy. I want to do THAT" pointing at the math the other kids were doing.
But the purpose of this is to recognize some very special kids who have absolutely changed our lives for the good. So this is for them.
Dear 3rd Grade Friends,
This may not make a lot of sense to you yet, but maybe you'll hang on to this letter and re-read it someday when you're a grownup. Or maybe, like me, you'll have these memories that will pop up someday when you're a parent. When I was about your age, there was a little girl named Courtney at my school. She wasn't in my class. She spent the majority of her day in a separate part of our school, in special ed. Sometimes she joined our class for PE, but times were different & she spent much of her time away from the 'regular' kids. But I was lucky. I got to go visit Courtney's class a lot, I guess to 'help' or what we would now call 'peer model', and while doing that, Courtney became my friend. One of the things I did was help Courtney learning to tie her shoes. Her muscles weren't very strong or coordinated, so this was SUPER hard for her. But then one day while we were working together, she did it! And I will never forget how excited we all were. We even got to call her mom at work to share the great news. This is absolutely one of my best childhood memories. In the grand scheme of things, shoe tying may not be gigantic, but we were all SO HAPPY and Courtney was SO EXCITED! Courtney and I really became good buddies for a while. We went to the same church and I would always get big hugs and a huge smile from her whenever we saw each other. I still think of her often with a smile.
As a mom of a child who started out in special ed, I am now looking at this from another side of the story. Fortunately, in my story, my son gets to spend most of his day in 'regular' class now. But you can't imagine how scared I was when we first sent him to this new, big class. He had a brother with him, but what if his brother was the only one who would eat with him, play with him, keep an eye out for him? I hoped he would find ONE friend who would seek him out and help him with whatever was his 'shoe tying' type struggle.
After just one week at school, I was picking the boys up and all over the playground, kids were calling him by name and telling him to have a great weekend. Phew! There were kids who knew his name.
But then, something even more amazing. We were at family math night (brother was at sports practice), and one of you pulled him aside and invited him to play a math card game. Made. His. Day.
And then one day, he came home and was shooting baskets and making them. Because one of you took time at recess, day after day, to really work with him to shoot (and one day, when you're off playing ball in college, I hope you remember how happy you made your friend teaching him this!).
And one of you ended up on his soccer team. For two seasons. And the first season (along with a bunch of other really awesome boys), you helped him just to keep up with the dribbling. You were patient with him when he stole the ball from you or went in the wrong direction. But this second season, you've made it your goal to help him score a goal. And when he still stole the ball from a teammate, one of you patiently took a moment on the sidelines to talk to him about it. Without getting angry. Just explaining calmly. Whether or not he is successful scoring or even remembering just to steal from the opponent, the fact that it is so important to you to make your friend happy & a real part of the team makes my heart explode.
And two of you, along with your basketball teammates, put your arms down 'just enough' playing against him on defense so that he could make a shot or two in the last game of the season. The ENTIRE gym (or at least our whole family) was cheering when he scored and jumped up and down as if he'd won the National Championship.
And all of you are patient with him when his speech is awkward, or when he doesn't really understand. And you are kind and find things you have in common with him, including him and encouraging him.
You maybe didn't know it at the time, but each of you made a friend for life. So one day, when you're looking back trying to remember what elementary school was like, I hope that you remember my son, your friend. And I hope that you realize what an amazing impact you have made on his life.
As it currently turns out, he still can't tie his shoes, and I don't really care. His 'shoe tying' was making friends, shooting a basket, having his very own 'playdate' with a whole crew of kids, getting invited to a pool party. And on those, thanks to you special friends, we are winning!
With a heart full of joy,
A Happy Mommy
First things first, a little catch-up since my post nearly 3 years ago (here: http://twinlittlemonkeys.blogspot.com/2014/01/which-of-these-things-is-not-like-other.html)
Right toward the end of 1st grade, a whole lot of things happened really fast, including Baby A's Gen Ed teacher looping to 2nd grade, Baby B making huge academic and language strides with a lot of one on one aide support (but no GenEd kids acknowledging him at his school's field day) and Baby B's SpEd teacher calling me with these shocking words "I think he is ready for inclusion with resource support". After hyperventilating, talking to all the people who could guide and support our decision, and a lot of prayerful consideration, we decided to bring Baby B to our 'home school', joining his twin brother's GenEd 2nd grade.
Our family goal for him was simple - make a friend who would greet him by name in public. I felt that while academics would be tough for him, we could make that up with work at home, tutoring if needed, extra support. But he really needed to make some friends that we would see at the sports park, maybe (could I hope!?) even join on a team, notice out in the community. As an aside, he blew our academic apathy out of the water. By the end of 2nd grade, he had jumped about 2 whole grade levels in reading, was doing double, and sometimes triple digit addition, and some double digit subtraction. I credit a huge amount of this to his teacher and his classroom aide, but also can't discount the 'peer pressure' factor. Once he crumpled his 'easy' math page and threw it at the aide saying "this is too easy. I want to do THAT" pointing at the math the other kids were doing.
But the purpose of this is to recognize some very special kids who have absolutely changed our lives for the good. So this is for them.
Dear 3rd Grade Friends,
This may not make a lot of sense to you yet, but maybe you'll hang on to this letter and re-read it someday when you're a grownup. Or maybe, like me, you'll have these memories that will pop up someday when you're a parent. When I was about your age, there was a little girl named Courtney at my school. She wasn't in my class. She spent the majority of her day in a separate part of our school, in special ed. Sometimes she joined our class for PE, but times were different & she spent much of her time away from the 'regular' kids. But I was lucky. I got to go visit Courtney's class a lot, I guess to 'help' or what we would now call 'peer model', and while doing that, Courtney became my friend. One of the things I did was help Courtney learning to tie her shoes. Her muscles weren't very strong or coordinated, so this was SUPER hard for her. But then one day while we were working together, she did it! And I will never forget how excited we all were. We even got to call her mom at work to share the great news. This is absolutely one of my best childhood memories. In the grand scheme of things, shoe tying may not be gigantic, but we were all SO HAPPY and Courtney was SO EXCITED! Courtney and I really became good buddies for a while. We went to the same church and I would always get big hugs and a huge smile from her whenever we saw each other. I still think of her often with a smile.
As a mom of a child who started out in special ed, I am now looking at this from another side of the story. Fortunately, in my story, my son gets to spend most of his day in 'regular' class now. But you can't imagine how scared I was when we first sent him to this new, big class. He had a brother with him, but what if his brother was the only one who would eat with him, play with him, keep an eye out for him? I hoped he would find ONE friend who would seek him out and help him with whatever was his 'shoe tying' type struggle.
After just one week at school, I was picking the boys up and all over the playground, kids were calling him by name and telling him to have a great weekend. Phew! There were kids who knew his name.
But then, something even more amazing. We were at family math night (brother was at sports practice), and one of you pulled him aside and invited him to play a math card game. Made. His. Day.
And then one day, he came home and was shooting baskets and making them. Because one of you took time at recess, day after day, to really work with him to shoot (and one day, when you're off playing ball in college, I hope you remember how happy you made your friend teaching him this!).
And one of you ended up on his soccer team. For two seasons. And the first season (along with a bunch of other really awesome boys), you helped him just to keep up with the dribbling. You were patient with him when he stole the ball from you or went in the wrong direction. But this second season, you've made it your goal to help him score a goal. And when he still stole the ball from a teammate, one of you patiently took a moment on the sidelines to talk to him about it. Without getting angry. Just explaining calmly. Whether or not he is successful scoring or even remembering just to steal from the opponent, the fact that it is so important to you to make your friend happy & a real part of the team makes my heart explode.
And two of you, along with your basketball teammates, put your arms down 'just enough' playing against him on defense so that he could make a shot or two in the last game of the season. The ENTIRE gym (or at least our whole family) was cheering when he scored and jumped up and down as if he'd won the National Championship.
And all of you are patient with him when his speech is awkward, or when he doesn't really understand. And you are kind and find things you have in common with him, including him and encouraging him.
You maybe didn't know it at the time, but each of you made a friend for life. So one day, when you're looking back trying to remember what elementary school was like, I hope that you remember my son, your friend. And I hope that you realize what an amazing impact you have made on his life.
As it currently turns out, he still can't tie his shoes, and I don't really care. His 'shoe tying' was making friends, shooting a basket, having his very own 'playdate' with a whole crew of kids, getting invited to a pool party. And on those, thanks to you special friends, we are winning!
With a heart full of joy,
A Happy Mommy
Lovely post, and so happy to continue to read about progress made and milestones reached. But what really impresses me is the way YOU have dealt with these challenges...with style, with grace, with humor, with patience, and unafraid to ask for help when you need it. Admiringly, Mpls cuz.
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